Ten years later...

"Graduating class of 2008, you have the potential and ability to do great things. May you go out and use your knowledge and talents to change and to better the world we live in...." the words echoed off the walls of the South Town Expo Center as I sat wrestling with my children at my brother-in-law's high school graduation. "I wish you all great success in your endeavors."

Ten years ago I was told this exact same thing. "Be successful. Go out and make the most of yourself."

The question hit me like a ton of bricks. "Wow, what have I done with myself for the past ten years?" I momentarily felt really bad about not having any great accomplishments. Have I changed the world? Have I been successful? I realize now that I was ranking my accomplishments upon worldly views. How do most of us view success, power and prestige? By how much money you have and how many toys you own. Since I don't have much of either of those things, I was feeling temporarily down and out.

Then I came to my senses and looked down at my 3 beautiful, healthy children (whom I was still wrestling with). Just look at these kids!
I think a lot of people have different theories and beliefs as to why women choose to stay at home and raise their family. Here's mine.

I find as I write these blogs and try to express myself and my feelings, that my lack of use with the English language is apparent. I don't know the words I should use to express what I feel. Maybe the words don't exist.

How do I explain to someone who makes six figures and has the thought of having children in the very farthest crevice of their brain, that this makes me smile?










Sure, it makes me crazy, but it makes me smile! (thank you magic eraser--no, not on her hands, the wall. I don't make the same mistake twice. Okay, well at least not that mistake.)

How do I explain the joy I feel at seeing my little Bella sitting in her grandmother's yard devouring strawberries while the juice drips off her chin and runs down her arms?












How do I define the emotions I feel when Daxton wakes me up, only to discover he has no pull-up on and skid marks in his pants. As terror grips me, I frantically search the house, sniffing as I go, trying to find the source of the smell. I arrive in the downstairs bathroom and discover poop covering many surfaces in the bathroom, including the toilet. How do I explain to someone that my first thought is "Wow, at least he tried to take care of things himself!"
(Don't worry, no picture for that one.)

How do I explain the laughter I expel when my 2 year old is calling me for help, only to find that he has climbed into the bottom basket of the stroller and can't get out?

What words do you use to explain the sense of accomplishment you feel when your oldest child sits down to read a story to his younger brother and sister?

Staying at home and raising these kids is the most important thing I could be doing. Sure, the pay is lousy, but I don't need cash to get the rewards. I just need a hug, a smile, a kiss on the cheek (and let's be honest here, a pedicure once in a blue moon doesn't hurt either.) Just know that I don't stay at home because I was told to, but because I want to. What better a way to change the world then by teaching those who live in it?

Ten years later and I don't have a fancy degree or a convertible sports car, but I have what I feel is most important to me--3 beautiful smiles that greet me each day.